Sexseries3This post is in preparation for the sermon to be delivered this weekend (8/25-26) “Protecting Your Marriage.”

Religious belief systems have always held widely divergent views regarding sexuality. The three most prominent views are that sex is either god,[1] gross, or gift. Here at KHC we view sex as an awesome gift to be celebrated (often) within the marriage covenant.

With this in mind here are some basic thoughts about lust, sexual sin, and protecting our children and ourselves:

  • Lust is a universal struggle. It’s OK to be open about it. It’s OK to not be OK. Deal with it now. Don’t pass on your besetting sins to your children (they’ll do what you do, not what you say).
  • 47% of Christians said pornography is a major problem in the home
  • 80% of 15- to 17-year-olds have viewed multiple hardcore exposures online
  • 64% of American men report that they view porn at least monthly
  • Sin grows deeper and stronger in the dark. Bring it to the light. We are as sick as our secrets.
  • We can’t fight sin with religion, we need Jesus. The good news is that Jesus changes hearts.
  • Biblical manhood is to become progressively more like Jesus through repentance, faith, and authentic community. A real man is a man that is real.
  • In an effort to protect our children, parents may inadvertently communicate that sex is a sin. But it’s important to nuance our communication so that sexuality is understood to be an awesome gift from God, enjoyed between one man and one woman for one lifetime.

Practical Guidelines For Internet Safety – The average age of a child’s first exposure to pornography is 11. A total of 90% of children ages 8-16 have viewed pornography online. Males are 543% more likely to view porn than females.

  • Talk with your kids sooner than later about the existence and nature of pornography.
  • Interact with your children while they are using the Internet; treat the internet like a window on the world and help your kids interpret that world in a way consistent with biblical values.
  • Place your kids’ internet-access computers in a family area of the home rather than in their bedrooms.
  • If your kids have smart phones, keep them in your bedroom overnight.
  • Warn kids that no one should ever click on a link from any kind of junk e-mail because it can easily be a trick to get them into dangerous territory.
  • Load every computer in your home with either Covenant Eyes or XXXChurch software. There are other accountability and monitoring software available for tablets and smart phones as well.
  • Consider disconnecting the internet altogether at night by 10pm (unplug the modem cable and keep it in your room).
  • Men, if you have a home office or a ‘man cave’ don’t EVER lock the door – and give your wife permission to walk in anytime. Also, situate the furniture so your computer screen/s face the doorway. And if you’re a ‘gamer’ set a time limit per day and invite accountability.
  • Spouses and (same sex) singles, have honest dialogue about accountability. Identify a third party couple, friend, or home group leader, etc. as a ‘go to’ person if you reach an impasse.
  • Spouses, if you are aware of an ongoing besetting sin in your household and feel pressured to keep it a secret, tell your spouse, “I’ll give you a week to talk to [a mutually agreed upon third party] about it and if you don’t, I will.”
  • Our BEST advice is to get into a Life Group and live on mission with Jesus in authentic community with other intentional followers of Jesus.

[1] Idolatry is when we make a good thing an ultimate thing. It’s been said that all sin is idolatry because in that moment we are choosing to worship something other than God.


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